Category Archives: Food

Animal Style

There are two (and a half) types of people in this world:

1.  The people who will read the headline and assume that I’m writing an article on furries.  To those people, I kindly ask you to leave this page and never return.

2.  The people who instantly know that I’m talking about California’s shining burger shack, In-N-Out.

2.5. The people who don’t exactly know what’s going on, but continue to read.  (It’s okay, if I haven’t already punched you through the screen, you’re probably safe.)

Now in addition to expelling those who grossly misread the incredible headline, I’m also going to call out anybody who dislikes In-N-Out:  You don’t belong here.  You’re not wanted.  Go cry into your fries at Five Guys.

…Onto a happier topic than Tom’s random acts of prejudice, the beauty that is In-N-Out.  Why is it so great?  Well…

It starts with two patties placed on a grill,

Sizzled to perfection in minutes few.

Placed on bread and toppings that do fulfil,

And delivered in paper unto you.

To compliment an entree so divine,

an unorthodox beverage is chosen.

The Neapolitan shake claimed as mine,

Remains the sole item ever frozen.

While such a meal would truly satisfy,     

Yet still we persist in this order here.

Potatoes in hot oil create the fry,

Masses of which in past have made me tear.

Covered in spread, grilled onions, and sliced cheese,

Do tenderly clot my weak arteries. 

It never actually looks like that.  But I couldn't care less.  OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. In-N-Out-Neopolitan-Shake In-N-Out-Animal-Style-Fries

I think that got the point across.  It also made me depressingly hungry.  Well, only 43 more days until I’m reunited with my greasy gastronomic good of gluttony.  My stomach rumbles in anticipation.

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